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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29085252">And you'll be awake</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/swordtherapy/pseuds/swordtherapy'>swordtherapy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Coming Out, Pairings are Background only, Trans Female Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 11:22:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,469</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29085252</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/swordtherapy/pseuds/swordtherapy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>She’s just about to open her mouth to try to get him to say anything, when Sam finally speaks. “So, you’re, uh…”, he trails off again, and Dean knows he’s completely out of his depth. </p><p>“A woman, Sammy,” she tells the road, forcibly casual but with enough of her usual drawl to prompt a scoff from her brother. “I know it’s been a while but I’m sure you’ve at least heard of them.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>172</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>And you'll be awake</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There had been a plan, at one point. It had involved a lot of alcohol and the hum of electronics one could always hear in the background while in the bunker. There was a security in that, the bunker had become home at some point in the last seven years, and there were plenty of places in it where one could hide out of a conversation with a certain younger brother went sideways. </p><p>Instead, it’s just Dean and Sam in the car, on their way home from a hunt. It’s been dark out for several hours, and Sam has already slept with his head against the window, lulled to sleep by Dean humming along to one of her cassettes like the world’s most overgrown 30something toddler.</p><p>Dean hadn’t realized he was awake until she saw the light coming from Sam’s phone screen out of the corner of her eye.</p><p>“Mornin’ sunshine.” She turns far enough that he can see the smile as she lifts her own cup of coffee. </p><p>Sam just scoffs, not looking up from his phone. Maybe doing some more research, most likely texting Eileen. “You know if you let me drive you can get some shuteye too.” </p><p>Dean just shrugs. There’s too much coffee in her system to consider napping until they’ve made it to a motel. “Wouldn’t wanna keep you from talking to your girlfriend,” she teases, which shuts Sam right up. </p><p>Companionable silence while they drive isn’t uncommon. Dean turns up the music, hums along to most of the music. Sam continues to look at his phone, letting out little breathy laughs now and then. </p><p>It’s about an hour until Dean says something again. “Hey, uh, if I told you something…,” she trails off, suddenly uncertain of why she’d even started talking. Next to her, Sam freezes, looks up from his phone for the first time since he’s woken up. </p><p>“You know you can tell me anything,” his voice is soft in a way that makes Dean ache, like he knows, earnest and practiced and yeah maybe some version of this conversation has been written on the walls for at least twenty years. “You’re my brother and I love you.” </p><p>Dean swallows, licks her lips, staring straight at the road. She wants to turn the music up and not say anything. “Sister, actually,” she says instead, in her steadiest voice. </p><p>Sam falls quiet in a way that is deafening, and Dean hones in on the purr of her Baby’s engine instead, breathing heavily. “Okay,” he says after what may as well have been several months of torture in hell. “Okay. You’re my sister and I love you.” </p><p>Dean nods and stares at the road because she knows that if she turns to look at Sam’s big and honest eyes she’s gonna start crying. The road becomes slightly blurry as she stares at it, and she blinks until her cheeks start feeling wet. “Okay,” she whispers, tightens her grip on the steering wheel.</p><p>There’s another eternity of silence, but it feels less like being taken apart now. As far as huge Winchester family secrets discussed around midnight in his Baby go, this probably barely even registers. Still, Dean aches to hear her brother say… anything, really. He hasn’t been looking at his phone.</p><p>She’s just about to open her mouth to try to get him to say anything, when Sam finally speaks. “So, you’re, uh…”, he trails off again, and Dean knows he’s completely out of his depth. </p><p>“A woman, Sammy,” she tells the road, forcibly casual but with enough of her usual drawl to prompt a scoff from her brother. “I know it’s been a while but I’m sure you’ve at least heard of them.”</p><p>He audibly rolls his eyes and throws himself into the cushions in response. “You’re an ass, you know that.” </p><p>Dean grins, less forced now. “That’s what I keep you around for, to keep reminding me,” she says and turns to look at him for the first time, mostly on reflex. Sam is leaned back against the bench, head in his neck and staring at Baby’s roof, but he’s laughing and relief washes over Dean. That’s her brother, she realizes with a swell of pride, the baby brother she’s taken care off for as long as she can remember and he’s alive and laughing next to her, after everything they’ve been through. </p><p>She looks back at the road, and Sam looks back at his phone, for a brief moment, before apparently realizing something. “What do I call you now?”<br/>
<br/>
Dean grips the steering wheel again. “Y’know it’s theoretically short for Deanna anyways--,” she trails off, briefly. “I talked about this, with Cas, actually, I… Dean’s still my name, I think. For now?” The words feel clumsy as she says them, like they don’t entirely make sense in that configuration.</p><p>Sam laughs, mostly to himself. “I thought this was gonna be about you and Cas, actually,” he confesses, like that’s not been obvious from the start. </p><p>Dean rolls her eyes. “Yeah well, he kinda put me up to this, so that’s as close as it gets.”</p><p>They don’t need to look at each other for Dean to be able to figure the dip between Sam’s brows as he frowns. “So you’re not together?” </p><p>And, yeah, at that she has to laugh. “Sammy you walked in on me sitting in his lap two days ago!”</p><p>All she gets in response to that is a pointed glare, and Dean can’t read minds but she can read Sam and yeah, fine, she would be the kind of ass who sits in someone’s lap and then acts like it never happened to anyone involved. </p><p>She sighs, heavily. “We’re trying the whole relationship thing.” She doesn’t have to add that it’s still freaking hard, even with how long they’ve known each other, even if barely anything has changed. </p><p>“Good,” Sam sounds extremely self-satisfied now. Ass. “You know the next time we stop I’m gonna hug you,” he says eventually. </p><p>Dean swallows hard and nods. “Y’know I think I gotta take a leak anyways,” she mumbles under her breath. </p><p>Sam finds a 24/7 gas-n-sip not ten minutes from them and Dean is relieved when the two of them finally step out of the car and into the cold 2am-in-January air. And then her giant brother is next to her and wraps himself around her with his giant arms. She rests her forehead on his shoulder and lets him hold on to her as if he were trying to give forty years worth of hugs all in one. </p><p>“You know you’re the best sister I could ask for,” Sammy mumbles before finally releasing her from his arms and Dean just gives a nod, wishing for a quip in response but it’s still too real, too raw to joke about. </p><p>“I really gotta take a leak,” she says instead and turns around. It’s not a lie either, but she takes a little bit longer than she usually would in the bathroom, then steadying herself once she’s outside again, breathing in cold air until she feels like she can breathe again. </p><p>On a whim she takes out her phone. It’s buzzed a couple times while she was driving, a handful of pictures Cas texted her of Jack in several layers of toddler clothes absolutely covered in mud, a huge grin on his face. ‘<b>My garden helper’</b>, is all Cas has actually written after several pictures which seem to detail their entire afternoon at the bunker, ending in a picture of Jack asleep and curled up in his racecar bed. </p><p>Dean smiles, fondness blooming in her chest. The kid’s only been back with them for a couple months, and they’re still not quite sure what happened. He’s actually a kid now, looking like the three year old that he was supposed to be and acting like it too, not a hint of nephilim or god-like power left, at least according to both Cas and Rowena. </p><p><b>‘I told Sammy’</b>, Dean types after another moment to steady herself, then sends the message. </p><p>Cas responds immediately. <b>‘Everything good? 💕 you’</b></p><p>Dean nods before realizing that she actually has to write what she’s thinking, and simply responds with a thumbs-up emoji, which gets her another heart from Cas. </p><p>
  <b>‘Gotta drive, text Sam the pics he’ll love them.’</b>
</p><p>There’s another heart from Cas which is about as many hearts as Dean thinks she can stomach for now, so she makes her way around the gas station and back to the car, where Sam is waiting for her. </p><p>“Got us some more snacks,” he says, gesturing towards the backseat where Dean can see the reusable bag Sam’s been using for groceries has gotten a little more bloated while she was away.</p><p>Dean nods and starts driving again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is set sometime post-series. Un-beta'd because I was possessed and just needed to get this out. Contact me at dykedarevil on tumblr or @profanedcapital on twitter.</p><p>Unbeta'd because I just sort of wrote all of this in one go, so if you noticed any obvious mistakes that's why.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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